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If I Were A Global Warming Denier…

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This past winter, global warming deniers busted a collective gut laughing about how snow (gasp!) in winter (double gasp!!) meant there was no global warming.  That’s right, everyone, there was snow in winter, so global warming was proven to be a hoax! Yeah, they really got all those crazy scientists with all their crazy “facts” with that one. Snow in winter. Hahahahahahahaha. Ha.

Anyway, it’s spring now, and if I were a global warming denier, I’d be vewwwwwwy quiet. Why should they be quiet?  Three reasons.

1. It turned out that this past heating season turned out warmer than normal. Today’s Washington Post reports that “heating degree days”  (“an index of fuel consumption indicating how many degrees the average temperature fell below 65 for the day”) this season are 3,622, compared to a normal of 3,711 and last season’s 3,874.  Fewer degree days, of course, mean it’s been warmer than normal this heating season. For global warming deniers, that’s a big, forehead slapping “d’oh!!!”

2. Yesterday’s high temperature at Reagan National Airport was 74 degrees, compared to a normal high of 61 degrees. Today and tomorrow, it’s supposed to be 80 degrees, or 19 degrees above normal. This past winter, we had several days where temperatures were on the order of 19 degrees below normal, and global warming deniers were claiming that was proof there was no global warming. Should they now be citing near-record warmth as proof that global warming exists? The answer is, “of course not,” because that would be just as assinine as claiming snow in winter disproved global warming. Still, it would be nice if they’d be consistent in their utter illogic.

3. Finally, we have a story which hasn’t gotten much attention on Drudge, Glenn, or Rush: “A parliamentary panel investigating allegations that scientists at one of the world’s leading climate research centers misrepresented data related to global warming announced Wednesday that it had found no evidence to support that charge.”  What’s that, you say?  What about that huge! SCANDAL!!! all the global warming deniers – our fine Attorney General, included – were talking about?  You mean it turns out that “nothing in the more than 1,000 stolen e-mail messages or in the ensuing controversy challenged the scientific consensus that ‘global warming is happening and that it is induced by human activity?'”  

But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but….GlennRushDrudgeCooch please tell us what to think, make those cognitive dissonance-causing facts go away!!! Yeah, it’s sad, but if I were a global warming denier right now, by all rights my head should have just exploded.

  • This was the first March on record that temperatures in DC never dropped below 33 degrees.

  • Teddy Goodson

    is a distinction the average denier apparently cannot make.

    Anyway, the new mantra of the deniers appears to be: “Maybe there is climate change, but it’s not due to human beings. It’s due to variations in the sun’s radiation, or maybe the kind of space the Earth and Solar System are rolling through.” Nothing wrong with that idea as such, but it still does not take into consideration the proven impact human beings are having on c-l-i-m-a-t-e, as well as on local weather.

  • WestEndVoter

    and that is why serious “warmists” or “skeptics” do not use them — except to poke some fun at similar arguments made by the other camp. Because of El Nino (i.e., isolated weather), we should have a very warm spring.  

    I’m not a fan of AGW as an important Democratic talking point.  As MSM and political opinion polls appear to be heading to a more neutral “undecided” position (as am I), and because the Coffee Party movement promotes less-biting discourse, it may be advisable to tone down the rhetoric a bit in official DNC communications.  

    There are lots of National Security reasons to cut down on greenhouse gas emissions — perhaps Democratic candidates should concentrate on them.

    On the other hand, I see little wrong with preaching to the choir on Democratic fan-site blogs — and there will be plenty of opportunity for that in this El Nino spring…

  • TomPaine

    their minds are made up and they are just waiting to be rapturted up into the arm of Jesus!