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Something to Send Shivers Up and Down Your Spine

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Be afraid. Be very afraid.

…If Republicans take control of the House in November, the 47-year-old Cantor would become the youngest majority leader in more than 60 years. That would put him next in line to become speaker if and when Boehner leaves.

The choice is tougher if the GOP falls short. If it does, sources close to Cantor say he would have to decide very quickly whether to stay in the House – and hope for a Republican victory in 2012 – or turn his attention to running for the Senate or for governor. At this point, those sources don’t expect Cantor to both hold a top leadership job and prepare for a different office.

Running for higher offices would be a difficult call. Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling is seen as the GOP front-runner for governor, and other Virginia Republicans, including former Sen. George Allen, have their eye on the Senate race, too.

“He’ll be the first Jewish Republican something,” a House GOP lawmaker said of Cantor. The “first Jewish Republican speaker, the first Jewish Republican vice president or first Jewish Republican president.”

Look, I’m all for “firsts,” including the first Jewish (or atheist, Hindu, Buddhist, whatever) president.  What I’m most definitely not for is that “first” being named “Eric Ivan Cantor.” It’s not even that he’s conservative, per se, it’s that he’s a self-promoting (even more than is usual in politics), blow-dried, bubble-headed, blowhard willing to say anything. If the thought of Eric Cantor in the White House doesn’t send shivers up and down your spine, then…well, you probably also think that Sarah Palin is an intellectual heavyweight whose finger should be near the “nuclear button.”  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

P.S. On the other hand, assuming Republicans don’t take back control of the House this November, I’m greatly looking forward to seeing Cantor run against “Felix Macacawitz,” Ken Kook-inelli, “Sideshow Bob” Marshall and/or Bill Bolling in 2012 or 2013. That would be great fun, much blogging hilarity to ensue.  

  • Dan Sullivan

    Conveniently for Eric, the GOP annoints at a convention to avoid the potential for a public and divisive internecine fight. A carefully crafted deal would allow him a walk to any nomination he desires.

    But the House offers refuge and security. He’ll walk only for a sure advance.

  • Johnny Longtorso

    Cantor’s never had to run a tough race before. He went from a safe Republican House of Delegates district to a safe Republican House of Representatives district. He can raise tons of money, but there’s no substance there. He’s just a talking point-spouting robot.

  • Glen Tomkins

    How about the All Commonwealth ticket — Cuccinelli/Cantor?!  

    Okay, maybe you want to lead with blow-dried to get the swing voters, and have crazy in the VP slot to firm up the base, and you have Cantor/Cuccinelli!!  The problem with that one, if you’re Cantor, is that Cuccinelli and his crack Bible College Law School team of volunteer constitutional scholars might find some interpretation of the Constitution that says the VP is, somehow, really in charge.

    Sure, it’s an old tradition to not have both people on the ticket be from the same state, but this combo is just too perfect to let that stand in its way.  It’s like Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein, a marriage made in heaven, two people clearly meant for one another.