My god, how did I manage to actually watch this steaming pile of well…this. Heh. But seriously, if you want to hear the crystallized essence of Republican self-congratulatory (masturbatory?), delusional, “we-did-it-all-by-the-sweat-of-our-bootstraps-and-no-thanks-to-the-evil-government” rhetoric, you definitely want to watch as New
Republican Media Strategies welcomes Bob McDonnell to their headquarters in Arlington, or what they like to refer to as “Communist Country.” (By the way, I was there in 2008 a couple times for Democratic speakers – Jim Moran, Aneesh Chopra – but apparently they haven’t had any progressives, liberals or Democrats speaking in a couple years now; what’s up with that?)
First, we get Bobbie Kilberg, President & CEO of the pro-Republican Northern Virginia Technology Council, and also a candidate for the 1993 Republican Lieutenant Governor nomination (she lost to total right-wingnut Mike Farris, who was in turn crushed by Democrat Don Beyer). Kilberg proceeds to push the bald-faced lie that Bob McDonnell “produced a $403 million surplus.” Kilberg also pushes the myth that the success of Northern Virginia’s economy is 100% the result of the private sector, specifically the technology industry. Of course, she glosses over the part about how the federal government accounts for almost all of that (as Alan Simpson might say, “sucking off the federal…uh, teet”). She takes a shot at the Obama administration for the budget deficit, which of course is a wild oversimplification as well. She praises the “exceptional pro-business climate” and “AAA bond rating” of Virginia, but manages to give no credit to Mark Warner or Tim Kaine, who were mostly responsible for pulling Virginia out of the ditch the last Republican governor, Jim Gilmore, left us in. In sum, what a bunch of, well…this crap.
Next, we get New
Republican Media Strategies CEO Pete Snyder. For those of you who aren’t aware, Snyder is a big-time Republican (was senior political director for Frank Luntz, polled for Rudy Giuliani, “regularly appears as a conservative commentator and marketing expert on the Fox News Channel”), donor to Virginia Republicans, and “free market” (aka, corporate welfare, trading off political connections) proponent who I hear plans to run for Virginia Lieutenant Governor (or possibly state legislature) in 2013. Given all that, Snyder’s speech doesn’t disappoint, giving McDonnell credit for singlehandedly producing the (mythical) $400 million not-a-surplus. Following that howler, Snyder proceeds to give shoutouts to his “special people” – Secretary of Commerce, Delegate Dave Albo (R- Booze, Abuser Fees), Del. Barbara Comstock (R-Blinded by the Right), Del. Jim Lemunyon (R-Oakton), and believe it or not Fred “Jew Counter” Malek (also, what on earth are Del. Patrick Hope and Del. Mark Keam doing at this travesty?).
Snyder then proceeds to gloss over the fact that the federal government was largely responsible for creating and nurturing the internet and communications infrastructure that makes Snyder’s business possible. He even makes a lame, but apparently de rigeur, joke about the internet being created in “Al Gore’s basement.” Hahahahaha. Ha. Oh, and the whole reason why Snyder’s business has expanded is because of (his) “hard work”, as opposed to: a) the federal government creating and maintaining much of the technology and infrastructure he uses; b) clients like the warm-and-fuzzy “Clean Coal” crowd (note: I hear they moved their staff way to the right when they got that contract), not to mention the Jack Abramoff/Northern Marianas Islands slave labor/Roy Blunt/Tom DeLay connection). Ee gads. “Hard work” indeed. More like trading off of their ties to powerful, unscrupulous, Republican lawmakers.
Finally, Bob McDonnell gives his usual spiel about “free enterpise” (translation: corporate welfare), pursuing your dreams (translation: trading off your connection to powerful, albeit corrupt, politicians), the “private sector” (translation: federal government investment and corporate welfare); etc., etc. Frankly, I zoned out through most of this, except perhaps for McDonnell’s comment about “drinking Virginia champagne” – now that’s something I can drink to! As for the rest, you’d have to be drunk to actually take this elephant you-know-what seriously.