Game over! Why didn't we see this one coming? This November 5th will be the Sodomy Election.
Yes, Cuccinelli has outfoxed us again. He knows that Virginians are tired of government screwing them over, when what we really want is for government to regulate how we screw each other. Yes, we want government off our backs -- so it can jump right into our beds!
Our Ayatollah General knows these things. He knows we understand that the state slogan, "Virginia is for Lovers", comes with a huge asterisk attached: for certain types of lovers practicing certain state-approved acts of love.
I now understand the brilliance of his economic development strategy. Think of all the jobs that will be created for Community Sodomy Monitors -- and all those binoculars purchases!
Almost 250 years ago, great Virginians like Thomas Jefferson and George Washington led a revolution so that none of us would ever had to bend down before a monarch again. Today's freedom fighter, Ken Cuccinelli, leads the battle to ensure that no Virginians will ever have to bend over before anybody again.
Ken Cuccinelli knows that sodomy is what matters most, and so he is focused on the issue to the point of morbid obsession. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I telephoned both the Office of the Governor of Virginia and the Office of the Attorney General of Virginia concerning the very public stance they've taken concerning non-heterosexually oriented persons in their state.
I also took this chance to complain to the Attorney General concerning a practice of some of Virginia's local law-enforcement jurisdictions, where they continue to make arrests for violations of Virginia's sodomy laws, imprisoning men for violations of those laws, then having the judges dismiss those charges when the men are brought to trial - not at arraignment, but at actual trial. I reminded the Virginia AG's Office of Lawrence v. Texas, and how the Supreme Court had issued a decision which negated all sodomy laws, nationwide.
The AG's Office informed me Virginia has not repealed their sodomy laws, so that arrest under those laws was still justified, and the process in place was correct: local jurisdictions follow the laws on the books, a trial court dismisses those charges to conform with federal court decisions; that was "how the system works."
Then the kicker:
"Y'all don't even live here, so it really doesn't affect you. Goodbye."
I just hope that Cooch's job doesn't include promoting Virginia tourism, certainly not with the slogan, "Virginia is for lovers!" Ha.