Governor McDonnell’s Daily Schedule: Sponsored by Star Scientific


    As a public service, I thought I’d post the governor’s schedule for the day.  Thank you, sir, for your service to the Commonwealth!

    7:00 am: Start the day with delicious, nutritious, stimulating Anatabloc&reg energy drink.  Feed dog with Anatabloc&reg brand dog food.  Bill taxpayers for both.

    7:30 am: Argument with Maureen over why she needs to stop demanding a mink coat from Dominion.

    8:00 am: Ceremony in Richmond to sign bill creating new state DMV (Department to Monitor Vaginas).

    8:30 am: Drive Jonnie Williams’ Ferrari to the “End the Thermonuclear War on Coal” rally in Southwest with Ken Cuccinelli.  

    11:00 am: Swedish massage from Jonnie Williams’ personal assistant, Annika.

    11:30 am:  Drive Jonnie Williams’ Jaguar to Roanoke.  Lunch with Hollywood producers looking to film the movie “Nixon: the Musical” in Virginia. Caviar and sushi courtesy of…guess who?

    1:00 pm:  Drive Jonnie Williams’ Porsche to Virginia Beach to join mentor Pat Robertson at “Sodomy Sucks!” rally.  

    3:00 pm: Return phone call to E.W. Jackson.  Come up with good excuse why you can’t attend his “Melon Smashing for Jesus” event tomorrow.  

    3:30 pm: Drive Jonnie Williams’ Lamborghini back to Richmond.  Meet with members of the GOP Vote Suppression Caucus on their new bill to require Virginia citizens to show genetic test results before they can vote.  

    4:30 pm: Issue proclamation in honor of Virginia Hay Farmers’ Month.  Run out of room before reporters can ask questions about financial disclosure.  

    5:00 pm: Meeting with ethics attorney.  Try to remember all gifts and include them on disclosure forms.  

    6:00 pm: Dinner with GOP consultants.  Discuss current political image and future presidential prospects.  (Note: no crying!)

    7:00 pm:  Have that difficult discussion with Maureen about whether there were any gifts she “forgot” to tell you about.

    8:00 pm:  Watch re-runs of “Father Knows Best” and “Leave It to Beaver”.  Laugh heartily.

    10:00 pm:  Take Anatabloc&reg brand Testosterone Booster&reg.  Engage in morally appropriate bedroom behavior.  

    11:00 pm: Prayer time.  Thank God for all the gifts you have received today.  Sleep, with a clear conscience.

    • Jim B

      At what point will old Bob start blaming the wife. She seems to be the driving force for all those gifts. Reckon she is more than a go between when on those shopping trips to the big apple.

    • totallynext


    • libra

      own a jet or, at least, a flying squirrel to lend his best buddy? The Porsche just isn’t going to make it from Roanoke to VA Beach in such a tight schedule.

    • kindler

      …and will have his staff investigate this alternative means of transportation.

      P.S.: Does Ferrari make jets?

    • FWfromNOVA

      This is also so sordid and creepy…wealthy “friend” takes the Governors wife on shopping trips to NYC , buys Rolex watch fornher to give to her husband…all that doesn’t come free, and if the McDonnells think anyone’s buying their lame excuses then I got some swampland in Florida to sell you. Political payola has been going on since the beginning of time, but the McD’s have taken it to a whole new level. Bobs got a bright future as a pimp now that his political career is over.