An easy way to solve Virginia’s budget, road problems

by Paul Goldman

By 5 PM this afternoon, anyone interested in being on the GOP presidential primary ballot next year has to file the required number of signatures. Given the need for a minimum of 10,000 signatures, spread around the state, it looks like I am going to come up a little short in a couple of areas. Darn, I was looking to taking Newt on in one of those Lincoln/Douglas debates.

One of the little known trivia facts in politics is that Richard Nixon – that’s right, the uber GOP dude, only Republican ever elected 4 times to national office – actually once ran as the Democratic nominee to Congress!

In California at the time, you could run in both party primaries. Democrats for Nixon, quite a group. Actually, to be fair, he won the DEM nomination for Congress that year in a write-in.

So it got me thinking about the value of signatures and how they could save Virginia.

Right now, former Speaker Newt Gingrich is struggling, as he admits, to meet the filing requirement to get on the GOP primary ballot.

So I asked myself: Instead of making him and the others get all those unknown signatures, we should instead require the Newtster and posse to provide the state with 10,000 official signatures, which we in turn could sell on Ebay to help fund transportation.

Think about it: We get 10,000 signatures from all the candidates, including the President, who has to qualify for the DEM primary ballot. Unless a third party wins, we then have 10,000 signatures of the President no matter who wins.

I think you can get $100,000 for a Martin Van Buren signature or that Fillmore guy, he was President right?

So it’s possible that 150 years from now, considering inflation and all, the state could have an asset worth $10 billion for transportation!

We could borrow against it right now.

Then there is this possibility: What if the next President is considered one of the greats, up there with Abe and George and whatever?

10,000 signatures might fetch….$100 billion, I mean, the Chinese will have to do something with all the loot they are collecting.

That’s more than the state’s current biannual budget.

WE CAN ELIMINATE ALL TAXES AND FEES. And fund the pension shortfall.

And Terry thinks he knows how to create jobs!

See: Who thought the old analog technology like a simple ball point pen would be the state’s salvation?

Okay, 150 years is a long time to wait. Hate to tell you: But unless some DNA guy gets real lucky real soon, it ain’t gonna matter a whole lot to any of us.

Besides, Jamestown was founded when, 1607? So we have been waiting 400+ plus years, what’s another 150 when you know you got the thing solved?

Come to think of it: Why not make them all provide 20,000 signatures?

That’s $200 billion by my formula if the next President is a favorite of the historians.

Think about it: Instead of booing Lincoln when he came to Richmond 150 years ago, we could have asked him for 10,000 signatures.

Instead, all we got is controversial statue down by the river and a Spielberg movie.

I say: It is time for Governor McDonnell to think ahead for change. What better legacy: No taxes, perfect roads, a full-up Rainy Day Fund.

Come to think of it: Can we get Michael Fox to go back in time and maybe bother President Lincoln for those 10,000 signatures? It would be pain, quilt pen and all.

But he was for “malice toward none and charity for all.” We need that now. “Just sign it Abe” if he wants, that will save time.