Conceived in the U.S.A.

Someone wake up The Boss. “Born in the U.S.A.” is old news. “Conceived in the U.S.A.” is the new reality. Courtesy of Virginia’s right-wing zealots, personhood begins at conception. But if that’s true, the rights of citizenship will begin at conception – and that opens a sea of troubles.

Millions of foreigners will sue for Obamacare based on mom’s tryst in an airport Marriott. Disneyworld will have a new slogan: “Conceive in Orlando; get US citizenship for your future child!”

If conception equals personhood equals citizenship, every foreign woman entering and exiting the U.S.A. will need a pregnancy test. The tourist industry will scream, but so what?

On the plus side, millions of foreigners will owe U.S.A. taxes – based on conception within our borders.

We will also expand the number of males eligible for Selective Service.

So get ready to issue social security numbers at conception, open up Obamacare to foreigners conceived in the USA, and fund the immigration service for millions of pregnancy tests. If you love big government, you’ll love personhood!

“Conceived in the U.S.A., I’m a cool rocking zygote in the U.S.A.”