Dear Cheapskate: Pony Up, Cheers and Applause Don’t Pay for Printing

by Jim Cunningham

Hi, there. Are you sitting comfortably?

There on that metal folding chair after watching that debate, forum or stump speech? Gathering your things to head out? What are you going to do now? Go back to your life? Go home and pat yourself on the back for being so politically aware? So plugged in, turned on, keyed up, awakened, energized and involved?

Yeah, I thought so.

Go ahead.

Go.

Go back to your life.

It’s okay. You did your thing; you can turn it all back off now.

But before you go, you should know that the candidates are talking about you. No, I mean YOU in particular. I hear what they say. They say you applaud extra loud when it comes to the campaign-finance part of the debate or speech. Who could blame you? It’s a BIG problem. How are you supposed to trust someone to represent you when these companies are pouring big bucks into campaigns so they’ll vote in THEIR favor instead of yours? Big business and special interests have made a regular habit of buying special treatment. So regular, in fact, that it’s hard to even FIND candidates who don’t take that money. But you found one. You just listened to one. The real deal. Talks about it because he means it. And you just love it.

These candidates … they say you cheer and whistle; hoot and holler, when they get to the part about not accepting those big corporate donations. But then at the end, when it’s all over, you just go home. You just leave. No donation. No nothing.

So, these candidates, they’re feeling a little ruffled over it. A bit perturbed. Let’s just say, they’re … DISAPPOINTED.

I think they OUGHT to be goddamn pissed off! They’d have every right to be!

They’re doing their part and you’re not doing yours!

They’re out there, hoofin’ it, knocking on doors. Wearin’ out those shoes. Can barely afford to print up some frickin’ fliers, let alone run ads or buy t-shirts or put pizza in their volunteers’ stomachs and gas in volunteers’ cars.

They didn’t accept the money you didn’t want them to accept. And what did they get from you? Squat.

And you? Gettin’ ready to stop by Starbucks on the way home. $7.00 on Starbucks every day but can’t afford to send $35 to a candidate. A candidate who’s bucking the system, JUST LIKE YOU WANTED HIM/HER TO!

So change. That’s all I’m asking. You want change? You gotta frickin’ change, too. Dig. I’m not even asking you to dig DEEP. Just dig a little. And send something for crying out loud.

And speaking of crying out loud, stop being such a damn hypocrite. If you’re going to hoot and whistle and slap those palms together when a candidate says something you like about campaign finance and not accepting all that dirty money, then put the hell up. Put up some cash. Even a little. Because cheers and applause don’t pay for printing.