Dear Rep. Tom Garrett (R-VA05):
We Democrats are concerned about you and really want to help! You see, earlier this afternoon we saw this story in Politico, claiming that you are in “turmoil,” have “abruptly parted ways with [your] chief of staff and [are] considering not seeking reelection in November” and are truly concerned! No really, we are! I mean, ok, maybe not really, but we DO sincerely hope that you to stay in Congress…for another six months or so, anyway. 😉
Wait, you’re probably asking yourself – “DEMOCRATS (or “Demoncrats” or “commies” or whatever you call us) want me to hang in there? Are they smoking something…stronger than they usually smoke, or what?” Well no, Congressman, we’re actually perfectly sober at the moment. And our analysis is crystal clear: our chances of picking up VA-05 in November are much stronger WITH you than WITHOUT you as the Republican nominee. Why do I say this? Three main reasons.
- You’re an absolutely horrible fundraiser, with cash on hand at last report of just $143k, less than half the cash held by Leslie Cockburn, now the Democratic nominee, at the time.
- You already had plenty of weak spots for us to hit you on, such as your meeting with white supremacist Jason Kessler, video of you treating your constituents with callous disdain, your many hard-right votes that hurt your district, etc. No wonder why the Cook Political Report moved your race last month from “likely Republican” to “lean Republican.”
- And now, with whatever your new “turmoil” might be, you can only be weaker still. Is there any replacement for you who might be weaker? It’s hard to imagine.
So yeah, if there’s any way you can possibly find it within yourself to pull yourself together, get a grip and see this through to the bitter end in November, we’d really appreciate it. Thanks!
Sincerely,
Your Friendly Virginia Democrats
P.S. As you like to say, our “thoughts and prayers” are with you.
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