(Author’s Note: Satire can be a powerful weapon in advancing truth. As we never hesitate to poke fun at our politicians by name, it seems only fair to also recognize by name some of Dominion Energy’s principal agents manipulating our government to their benefit, not ours. With Dominion Energy’s power and influence infecting the body politic of Virginia, here’s hoping you find much truth in this humorous take on the sad state of our democracy in Virginia. – Glen Besa)
WARNING: Unchecked, a Dominion Energy Zombie Apocalypse is a world with an average global temperature in excess of 2 degrees Centigrade, where droughts, famine, floods and severe weather events break down social structures, resulting in chaos and authoritarian rule in the form of corporatocracies in place of democracy.
Are your elected representatives infected with the Dominion Energy Zombie virus? Otherwise normal human beings that we elect to represent us have been infected at an alarming rate. Some of our legislators, like Senators Dick Saslaw and Tommy Norment and Delegate Terry Kilgore, are actual carriers of the virus, spreading it to other members of their respective caucuses. Worse yet, our Governor appears to be infected as well. This insidious virus attacks our very democracy, overwhelming T-cells (voters) with vast sums of cash, peer pressure, a disdain for climate science and consumers’ wellbeing.
Here in Virginia, Dominion Energy money and overexposure to Dominion lobbyists like Bill Murray and Katharine Bond are a primary source of infection. Patient Zero for this pandemic is Dominion Energy CEO Tom Farrell, followed closely by political operatives/executives like Bob Blue, who attends Democratic candidates fundraisers to spread around infected cash. When the virus begins to lose its potency among Democrats, Dominion Energy brings Eva Teig Hardy out of retirement to reinvigorate it. I’m certain there are similar vectors active among Republicans as well.
What are the telltale signs that your legislator may be a Dominion Energy Zombie? Accepting cash from Dominion Energy is a warning sign of infection. Losing all sense of reason, mindlessly reciting Dominion talking points and reflexively voting for Dominion Energy legislation are indicators that your legislator is a Dominion Energy Zombie. Among Republicans, the infection manifests itself as climate denialism. In Democrats, the virus has evolved to prompt elected officials to claim they believe in climate change so as to confuse democracy’s Tcells, voters like you.
Is there a cure? Hard to say. Some legislators seem to have a natural immunity, having never taken Dominion cash. Others seem to have milder infections and perhaps can be cured. Alarmingly, most of our legislative leaders in both parties are carriers, spreading the virus among their peers. For legislators in the final stages of the infection, the only cure is removal from office. But the virus is clever, bestowing its carriers with vast amounts of cash to fend off the cure of losing an election to an environmentalist challenger.
How do we stop the Dominion Energy Zombie Apocalypse? In this coming election year, when all our Delegates and Senators are up for reelection, it is our responsibility to determine if our legislators are infected with the Dominion Energy Zombie virus. Visit your legislators, talk with them and check their record to determine if they are infected. And if the infection has too far gone, remember: the only known cure is to turn them out of office.